Luring a Lake Monster

On September 7th, I am going to be participating in the 25-mile “In Search of Memphre” swim across Lake Memphremagog from Newport, VT to Magog, QC.  I will begin the swim at midnight and carry over until the afternoon.  I will have a GPS tracker, so keep an eye on the blog for further updates on how to keep up with me as I search for that elusive lake monster.

For more information on the swim check out this link:

http://www.insearchofmemphre.com/

And check out the great introduction of the Swimmer Scouts here:

http://dailynews.openwaterswimming.com/2013/08/two-men-two-maidens-and-monster-in.html

AND NOW!

As this is a scouting expedition, and not just a swim, I have come up with some strategic methods and tips  for maximizing search efforts.  They are as follows:

  1. Swim with your eyes open.
  2. Have your crew armed with fishing poles and carrots; I’ve heard Memphre loves carrots.
  3. When stopping to feed, make sure to make the Lake Monster mating call.  It’s a globally recognized sound that will attract any and all Lake Monsters universally (As long as they are within earshot, and everybody knows Lake Monsters have poor hearing.).
  4. Tell the fish what you’re doing.  Fish are notorious gossipers.  The news will get to Memphre that you’re looking for her.
  5. Smile, sing, laugh.   Memphre doesn’t like to be found by grumps and miserable folks.
  6. Practice your French.  Memphre may be on the Canadian side, and the fish up there speak French.
  7. Swim near or on the surface of the Lake.  Memphre can then approach you and will not be threatened by you infringing on her territory.
  8. Disguise yourself as another beautiful, exotic/endangered/extinct creature (i.e. a centaur, a gryphon, a mermaid, a woolly mammoth, a cherub, a Swimmer Scout).  This will make Memphre more at ease with your company, if she thinks you are a similar type of creature.  Do NOT, however, disguise yourself as a mythical creature (i.e. a vampire, a werewolf, an honest politician).  Memphre will totally see right through those shenanigans and be all like, “What the WHAT?”
  9. When night swimming, whisper.  Nobody likes to be woken up in the wee hours, especially not Lake Monstsers.  Also, still keep your eyes open so that your eyeshine can be detected by Memphre’s headlights.
  10. Once found, Memphre will not pose for photographs so be ready to get her autograph on something or agree with your crew ahead of time (by playing rock, paper, scissors) who will be sacrificially bitten by Memphre to validate the encounter.

So there you have it!  I’ll keep you all posted on the Search!  Here’s to the success of my longest adventure yet!

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